Watch Out Grandma!!!

While I was in college, I "moonlighted" as a nanny to 18 month old twin boys. It required me to basically be their "mom" from 7am to 3pm most days, which entailed, driving them to do fun stuff. We used to go to the park, on snowy days, I'd take them to the germ infested indoor play areas at the mall, or we'd go do touristy things. Just to pass the time. All of this driving to and fro took place in a mini van. I didnt mind. I actually think I brought sexy-mini van back. Anyway. One thing I did learn, there is a mommy mini-van code. This code is, backing into your mini van isnt actually a fender-bender, its just me giving you the "what's up!". I learned this the hard way. Leaving the park in suburban denver, I was getting the boys strapped into their car seats when all the sudden, I'm knocked over in the mini van, and look up to see another mini van slowly pulling away and giving me the "wave" and see you later! WTF?!!! Well, I would soon get many more of these in the year that followed. After moving home to St. Louis, I started noticing how many mini van bumpers are inverted from all of these love taps...

So this sunday, while watching my friend's daughter, in the parking lot of the park, while in my car, I'm eyeing the mini van's like a hawk. No ONE is going to give me a love tap! I drive an SUV!! I'm off limits. Just when I think we are free and clear, we leave the car to walk to the play ground. OH NO! I got thrown a curve ball! Apparently, Sunday is grandparents day!!! Walking into the park, behind the cars, an elderly woman is backing out of her spot. (the following happens over the period of 3 seconds)

Surely she sees me.

I'm picking up speed out of the way

Oh my God, I dont think she sees me "HELLO!" (there is no where to go at this point, cars are everywhere, and they are mini vans being driven by GRANDPARENTS!)

HELLO LADY!!!!!!!!!!! (at this point, she's close enough, and I'm young enough that my balls are still pretty hefty) and she hasnt stopped, and she isnt even looking

I ROUND HOUSE KICK HER BUMPER! she stops. I give her the "what the fuck lady?" I go on my way.

1 for the babysitter 0 for the sunday grandma.