Deep Thoughts-

Those who know me, I have a pretty elaborate history regarding health and wellness. Since I can remember, I've had body image issues. Being in kindergarten, I remember NOT wanting to show my body in a swim suit. I've thought so much about what the heck made me feel that way at all too young of an age, and it boils down to nothing more than being in a family where appearance is everything. I dont, of course, blame my family, because I think it made me into a somewhat well rounded person (hopefully, not literally!). I didn't, however, have any idea there was a correlation between food and body shape. I was just too young. I was a picky eater, but loved to eat bagels, chocolate, and that was about it. So, growing up and into my early teen years, i was always just a little bit chubs. I got teased in middle school and into high school. However, because my sister sort of dealt with the same issues, when she realized the correlation between food/figure and to burn calories, is to lose weight, I took note. I learned healthy eating, exercise and overall good health. Then of course, in typical "me" fashion, I took it to the extreme, and developed serious eating issues, and disorders. With those came so many issues I wont explain here. Getting past those issues, and eating more normal, but low fat, came the stomach problems. Here are where my thoughts get flustered: Why do so many women have a harder time eating a low fat diet and maintaining sanity/overall wellness vs eating what they want in moderation?

Explanation: So many of my girlfriends after college had weight to lose, and when incorporating low-fat foods into one's diet, it seems it opens a big can of worms. Literally upset stomachs, headaches, mental instability, and of course irritability. And so few times did this diet actually take effect. It seems the stress that goes into the diet change causes so much anguish, the diet is rarely a success. On the flip side, I've heard all of those REAL success stories of women (and men) saying all it was is portion control, and moderation. That's it. NO stress.

So, last night, John and I went to a greasy spoon near us for dinner (cheap!). Anyway, instead of eating the house salad, and nibbling on John's bacon burger and fries, I got a hamburger of my own...this is like, the first time EVER! I cut the burger in half, and dug in. I ate half, and oh my! It was good. So, i finished the first half, and ate about 2 bites of the second, and called it quits. And that was my meal.

Here's where my logic comes into place. Why am I so much more likely to eat my entire chef salad (meat, cheese, dressing and all) than my hamburger? Does society dictate what is ok to eat and what's not? OR is it because we related salads with low fat? I'll tell you, 3/4 of a hamburger is most likely less fat/calories than a chef salad. And, I'm not left feeling full and loaded with GAS!

So, with that said, I'm giving moderation a try. I'm 30- its about time....

In other news: Mom and I drove to KC to do a fitting of my dress, and when I say "like a glove" that's what I mean. It fit. Oh lord. Typically, I like my clothes to be loose, and NOT tight. If I should wear a 4, I wear a 6 instead. I just like to move! So when this dress was put on, and zipped up, I got a little panicky. Then, when the seamstress starting pinning it in EVEN more! I got a little light headed. I go back in 3 weeks to pick it up---keep your fingers crossed that moderation doesnt come back to kick my ass.

Mom wanted to stop in some kitchy areas, antique malls, etc. We found a place, WAY off the beaten path, called Blackwater/Arrowrock. HOLY COW! AWESOME!